Chinese New Year Coming!!

The time passes very fast for January and for almost a week we are going to celebrate Chinese New Year. I have been doing a lot of online shopping to get my Chinese New Year cloths. I think i am done shopping for this year. I still have not do any spring cleaning for my room yet. Am going to clear up some cloths that i am not going to wear and will be donated it to the Salvation Army. Will be going back to hometown next week to celebrate Chinese New Year with my family back hometown. Will be going back for the whole week which means that i will not be able to meet my dear for the next whole week.

I am still thinking whether i should get something for my dear's family like cookies and stuff. But he did mention and ask me not to waste money and buy anything for them. But i think i better get them something to show my respect, and i am also going to get some cloths for my dear for his Chinese New Year. Don't know whether my dear will miss me or not when i am not here for the whole week? Or will he be enjoying his time with his friends? But i am definitely sure that he will be enjoying his own personal time because i have been very clingy to him most of the time. So i think it's good to give him some personal time.

The other day he suddenly told me that i should start saving. I was shock and jokingly ask him, so what kind of plan that i can buy for this saving? Then he told me that it was not what he mean. He said it's by saving cash. Then i ask him, so how much do i need to save? And he told me that i have to save SGD50K which really shock me. Why SGD50k? At that time i did not ask him why. He said that i have to save SGD50k in 3 years which i think that it's impossible for me because i don't really earn a lot. But i told him that i will try and will figure it out to to save that much money. I am not so sure why does he want that much money for.

Then the next day i give it a thought and come up with a plan. Which does not really a good plan. Because this year i still have some extra money left from my year end bonus. So the possible way was for me to spend lesser and save more. By calculating how much i need for each month on expenses.I might possibly save around SGD20k for that 3 years time which is not enough as he is asking for SGD50k. Then i told him my plan and he laugh at me. Actually he was saying that both of us have to save SGD50k in the next 3 years. Not by saving alone. But i still did not get why he wanted to save that much. I keep asking him why but he did not answer me. So i give up asking him. But i do got a feelings that maybe he is planning to get married soon because he told me before that if he wanted to get married then he will need SGD50k. If's it's really that he is planning to get married. Then does it means that he is going to propose to me soon?

If it's really so, I am really so eager. I have been waiting for this time to come. I thought that he will never ever ask at all. But can i really trust this man? Can he protect me? Can he provide me with what i want? Can we really work things out? I have been with him for 2 years but sometimes it still makes me feels that i don't understand him much because i don't know what he is actually thinking. Because he does not talk much not even his future planning. That is why there is a lot of question popping inside my head which i have no answers to. Anyway i have already decided to let things flown naturally and see what kind off future it brings for me. Hope that this year will be a good, and smooth year for me.

A Sick Week

I fall sick after the first day of coming back from my trip with my dear and his family to Genting Highland. It was a great weekend with my dear and his parents. Although it's a bit tired on that trip because did not really sleep well and sleep much but i feels happy. I got to spend time with my dear and his parents. Although we don't talk much because of language problem but i am happy.

Then i went back to work for one day and the next day i fall sick badly. And the doctor gave me 2 days MC. Then on Friday which is the 2nd day of my MC. I nearly breakup with my dear because i feels that he does not care about me at all. What happen was, he did not even care to ask how am i doing and he said that he will call but he did not and the only time that he ask is when he finish playing his games and message me in the middle of the night and ask me how am i feeling. I feels sad and so hurt. Because i was sick, the only phone call that i received the whole say since Thursday is my mother. She keeps calling me and ask me how am i feeling? Do i feel better? Did i eat my meal and have i taken my medicine. I really loves my mother very very much. And what have my dear do? He did nothing even when i message him on Thursday morning to tell him that i am going to see doctor. After that i did not hear anything from him except that he call me in the afternoon and ask whether i have my dinner already and ask me to have it myself because he will be having with his friends. And he did said that he will call be later but i keep waiting and hoping that he will call but he did not. That is why i am so hurt. And when he message me in the middle of the night, i am really angry and i vent my anger on him. I did not hope that he will be there with me, i just hope that he will care about me. That is all i am hoping for. I just hope that he will care when i am sick.

On Friday afternoon, he ask me out to have lunch but after the lunch and on our way back he did not even hold my hand or anything. I feels hurt. I don't know what to do and after i get into my house i message him. I told him that i feels that i am not important to him at all. I told him that i don't know where i stand in his heart. It seems like his gaming is more important until he does not even message me when he is playing games and like i am totally transparent to him. And he said that i have sky high expectation on him. What he want to to provide me with what i want and hope that i am leading a comfortable life. He is there to give me what i don't have. And saying that i am the one that is hoping for the relationship to end because of my sky high expectation. So i ask him what does he want me to do? I tell him to make a decision. If i am too much for him, he can choose to give me up and tell me that he does not love me anymore. So i ask him whether is it the end of our relationship and he say no. Then i promise him that i will never ever ask for anything from him anymore. As long as i am happy now then it's enough. I am not sure whether i can do it or not, but i do hope that this relationship will only gets better and not worse. I hope that he understand that i don't hope that he will be there with me every time as long as he shows that he care and love me and also that i am in his heart then it's enough. Is it too much that i am asking for?

Today Saturday night, after dinner with dear at somewhere near Hougang or Serangoon, we went to his friends place to play Mahjong. He is playing Mahjong with his friends while i am here writing my blog and also downloading my comics on my iphone. At least i won't be so bored at home and some more i have finish reading my comics during my sick and resting at home and also i have already overused my data plan. So i really need to download more comics. I wish that he is winning right now.

Friday night

It's the first week of the year and how i spend my Friday night? Here at my dear's friend house playing games and downloading some comics to my iphone while he plays mahjong with his friends. Don't really know what is the purpose of coming over but at least i don't have to stay at home alone and i can use the internet for free to download my comics. From today onwards i don't have to be bored anymore. Thank you dear for helping me to pay for the apps.

Nothing much happen today at work. Just get to know a shocking news today. One of my director are leaving the company soon. His last day will be on 24th this month. It's really sad to know that he is leaving after working for so many years in this company. I do think that this company will not stand any longer. All the talented people are leaving and opening their own company. I don't know whether it's a good things or is it a bad things. But what i feel is that it's bad for BCI and it's good for their future. I hope for the best future to my director and everything will be smooth for him in his future undertakings.

I feel very sad yesterday as i do think that my dear likes to spend his time with his friends more than spending it with me. He keeps going to play games which upsets me a lot. I totally can't sleep the whole night and keep turning here and there. Although he is not doing anything unfaithful to me or he is cheating behind my back but it just upsets me to know that he keeps playing games. I don't know whether did he plan for the future or not. I just don't know what he has for the future. And i don't want to get married with someone that will keep going to play games with his friends after we got married. It's not like we are going to get married soon or will we ever be getting married. Just that this kind of things do concern me.

Tomorrow will be going for a karaoke session with my friend Kira at Jurong Safra. At least i got some time for my own. I did make a decision not to meet my dear so much. Really have to stop meeting him too much because we are really running out of conversation. Maybe what he said is right. We don't talk much is because we meet each other too frequently and maybe other couple did meet up once every week or every two weeks. I really don't know. This is the only solution that i can think about. If this is why he does not have anything to talk to me. Then what about if we really are going to get married? What will happen then when we are actually staying together with each other and also see each other daily? I really don't know what to expect.

Don't want to think too much of what the future have for me. What i know is that i need to live happily with my life. Life is short and i should live it to the fullest. If not my life will be wasted. I should do things that can make me happy. I am no longer young anymore. I am getting older and older each day. I feels like my body and health is getting worse each day. I should really take good care of myself. I am not on my own diet plan. Should not eat too much. And i am also keeping up my own body to the best as i can.

It's a new year!!!

It's the end of year 2010 and it's a year of 2011. all the bad things will be left behind and the good things will come in this year and everything will be sailing smoothly for me this year. Just need time to settle my things one by one like what my dear tell me. I have to settle it one at a time. If not i will be the one that is going to suffer.

We did not go anywhere on Christmas eve. No celebration, but me and dear went down to orchard road for a walk and then went to Alley Bar at Somerset station for a drink before we went back home. Not really happening actually because we did not went out to celebrate with friends. After the drink we went back to dear house to watch TV and also countdown. Haha... just the two of us.

Over the past few weeks, it's been a great holiday for me. Nothing much to do during the holiday season. Just went out to have a Christmas lunch with my family and also my dear. It's was a very very full Christmas lunch and it's really fun. We went to Sakura International Buffet at Clementi Woodpark to have our sumptuous lunch. Although it's not as exclusive as those high class place but it's nice. Ate a whole lot of sashimi because that i the most expensive of all the food that they have there. I have totally forgotten how much salmon have i ate that day. After the Christmas lunch we went back to my brother place to have our gift exchange. Everyone was happy especially my nephew (Samuel). He is so happy with his Christmas present. Then after that my parents, dear and me went to vivo because my mom want to meet her friend there. And they decided to go other place so me and dear went back home.

The next day we went out to meet our friend Darren and Chloe. We went to Bugis to have Fish n Co. then after that we went to the new shopping center that open at Serangoon station call Nexx. It's a very huge shopping mall almost the same size as Vivo City but what i don't like about that place is, it's a bit confusing because there is like 2 parts in the shopping mall. You totally don't know where you are walking and there is so many people there. My dear said that the car park in the mall is the worse because they don't have enough parking lot in it. We walk for a while then we went back home to rest because all of us are very tired.

On New Year's Eve we are also at home and did not go anywhere to celebrate but just 45min before New Year my dear and me drove down to Stadium hoping to catch the fireworks. And we manage to reach there just in time to experience the New Year's celebration which held on the Marina Bay platform. The fireworks are really very nice. I am so happy to have spend such a nice time with my dear there. And there marks our second year of being together with each other and i hope that we will have more years to come to celebrate New Year together.

Then just after the fireworks we went back to our car and decided to go somewhere else later in the morning. Get out of Singapore. So we went online and book ourselves a resort/hotel at Port Dickson. The name of the resort/hotel is called The Legend International Water Homes. It's really nice there. I feels like i am on honeymoon with my dear. The place is nice and the room that we get is for 4 person but we are okie with it. There is 2 king size bed, a private swimming pool, a dry kitchen, a big bathroom and also with robes for both of us. And there is a glass panel that you can actually see the sea at the bottom of your room. It's really nice although it's a bit expensive and the place is a bit too big for just the two of us. The room for 1 night on peak season is RM900+ included the gov tax and service charges. We had a great time relaxing there and my dear sleep like a king on the king size bed. I am sure that we will go back there again next time maybe with friends or family.

Today start working on my first day after a long holiday break and does not really feels like working at all. How i wish that i can have more holidays to come.