My Christmas and Anniversary Gift!!

I got my Christmas and Anniversary gift from my dear today... It's an Iphone2 32GB!! I am super duperly happy!! Although he got it from getting a new plan from M1 but still he have to pay SGD110 for it. I never thought that he will give it to me. Because previously he said that he wanted to give it to his sister and me taking his sister's Iphone 3gs. I really did not expect that he gave it to me.

This morning i sleep until 10+ in the morning and then i thought that he have forgotten about me. But then he called me around 12 plus and tell me that he have just finish his appointment. And will be coming back in awhile. So i did not bother about him because i am still a little not happy of what happen last night. When i am all alone at home and he went out to play games with his friends. It's not a big deal but still i don't feel happy about it.So after hangging up the phone i went to cook myself instant noodle for lunch and then watch my drama.

So i waited and waited and i did not received any call from him until 2 plus. Then i heard door bell but i don't know it's him. So i did not bother to go out to open the door and check who that is. So the door bell rang for quite sometime and my landlord went out to open and realize that it was him. He told me that he called me many times and he cannot get thought. When i go check my phone i realize that there is no reception on my phone. No wonder i did not received any call from him and i thought that he forget about me.

Then he told me to go shower and then after that go look for him and we will go to Parkway Parade for a walk. When i have done and went over to his place, he told me that we are going there to signup a new plan from M1. So he ask me to go home and get my Iphone 3g so that he can try whether he can trade-in my phone or not. So i went home and get it since put at home also no use since it's spoiled. Then after finish watching the movie on tv we went to Parkway Parade.

At that time i did not know that he is actually wanted to give me that Iphone4. So i just follow him and i thought that he is going to gave it to his sister. So i did not expect anything from him. Then after everything's done, he happily told me that i can whatsapps with him soon. Then i still tell him how am i going to whatsapp him when i don't have iphone? Then he told me that i have the Iphone, then only i realize that the Iphone is meant to give me as a Christmas and our 2nd year Anniversay. At that time i really don't know what else i can say, and i told him that i love him and thank him for the gift. I am so happy. I am really the most luckiest girl in the whole world. I don't know whether other people's bf will do that or not. But to me he is the best bf i ever had. I am really very very happy.

Not feeling happy

It's Saturday and i am suppose to meet my sister (Ze Teng) at east coast park for an activity this morning but i end up making an excuse not to go because i am financially low. So i rather stay at home and spend more time with my dear. So i sleep until 10am and then my dear sms me telling me that he have already wake up. So i ask him whether he want me to go over? And he ask me to go shower then go over. So after my shower i went over to look for him and wait for him to prepare to go back to office because he needs to open the door for the telemarketers. We went to his office around 1pm because the telemarketers say that they will be late. And we have been waiting for like 2 hours in the office and we are feeling hungry. So we decided not to wait for them and went to have out lunch. Just in time when we reach downstairs they reach and it's raining. So my dear pass them his access card and then we went to eat lunch. Just a simple mix rice lunch.

Then we spend the whole afternoon in his office, him doing his stuff and me doing mine and also playing games on facebook. He said that after he is done then we need to go down to Bugis to change his shirt that his sister brought for him for his birthday present. So after doing his stuff it's almost 6pm and we went back and i told him that i wanted to change into something more comfortable and then he went home and check whether his mother got cook for dinner or not. So he sms me saying that his mother got cook dinner, so we plan to go to Bugis after the dinner.

During dinner time, he ask me whether is it okie that he went to play games with his colleagues. I think i really don't know how to say no to him. Although deep down inside i am not happy that he keeps going to play games with his friends. But what am i? What can i do about it? He should have his own time. Some more being with me is just too bored. That is why i did not make any noise when he said that. I know that i am not happy but there is nothing that i can do about it. So after dinner we drove to Bugis and get his cloths change and then i get something from Watson. He is the one that pay but i am sure that i am going to return him back the money,because currently i am really very low in financial. So i really need his support. After everything i decided to take mrt home so that he don't have to send me back and then went back out to Park lane to meet his friends to play games. I am trying to be more considerate. It hurts me very much. But like i said there is nothing that i can do about it. I know that i am sad. It's Saturday night and i am all alone at home. Such a boring life i have. Even he finds that i am bored to be with that is why he spend most of his time with his friends than me.

Back

My dear have come back from his trip to Genting with his colleague. I meet him for awhile and we chat. Sometimes i don't really understand why do they like to gamble when they know that gambling will make them loose something. Although this time he is lucky that he won around MYR4-5k. What will happen if he loose? He told me that he won't and he went back to gamble and yet loose it back to the casino. I don't understand what is the thrill of gambling. Although sometimes i do go buy 4D myself but not all the time. It's more like once every blue moon. Although he still wins as in he did not loose what he have taken out to play and yet win a around like SGD2k, but why can't he stop playing when he have won earlier? Then like that he won't have to loose back the money that he have won. He told me that it's okie because it's the winnings that he loose it back to the casino. So there is no problem with him. He still wins. Maybe i just don't understand. There is a lot of people in this world that does not even have a dim to buy food.

Maybe because i am currently facing a financial problem and i know how important it is to have a better finance. That is why i feels that once you have win enough, that means it's time to stop. Since you have the luck to win MYR4-5k then you should really stop playing. But he told me that there is nothing else to do there except going to the casino. What it don't understand most is, since he know that there is nothing else to do except gambling, why do they wan to stay there for so many days? Which will make you go back to the casino and loose it back to them. I just really don't get it. Although i know that it's not my money that he is loosing. So why do i bother? Maybe i just am too much. I think too much, i care too much... I hate myself. I don't mean to complain but i am just trying to tell him how i feel about it. I don't mind that he went gamble once in a blue moon, but i hope that he understand. Gambling is really not good. It will just ruin everything.

Christmas Mood!!

Another week to go before Christmas. And i am full of Christmas mood. It's a season of joy and forgiveness. I am so excited to celebrate this Christmas with my family and my love ones. I have finally finish doing all my Christmas shopping and also gift wrapping. I am so happy yesterday because i received my first 2 advance Christmas gift from a friend and also a team-mate.

My team-mate brought me a box of pineapple tarts this year. Each year he will give us a bot of cookies which is made by his friend, but this year it's different and he gave us pineapple tarts for Christmas present. I am so happy to get it from him. This season is really filled with joy and happiness.

I also got another gift from a long time friend. He is currently working here in Singapore. He got me a Stitch travel bag which i have wanted to buy for myself for a long time. I remember that i have told him that i like that bag very much from lluma shopping center at Bugis. I told him that day when i accompany him for a movie at Illuma one day. I did not thought that he will remember and brought it for me. The travel bag come with a small bag too. And he told me that it's for my Christmas present and also for my advance birthday present. Thank you so very very much. I did buy him a Christmas present too and i hope that he will like it.

Later today i will be meeting my best friend to pass her Christmas present that me and my mother brought for her. And i hope that she will like it. And also i have help her to buy a gift for her Christmas party gift exchange. I told her that i have get her something and she is like super happy because she does not really received any Christmas present from other people. The only person that will buy her Christmas present is me. And this year she have another extra Christmas present which is from my mother. I hope that i can give her the warmth that she lack of from her family member. That is what i am wishing for. To see the happiness in her eyes and to make her feels that she is not alone although her family does not really care a lot about her. I just want her to know that i have always care and will always stand by her no matter what happen to her.

I really can't wait till Christmas comes. It's going to be a happy and joyful moment. Although this year we are not going back to hometown, but i am sure that we will have all the fun in the world.

Quiet Day At Work

It's been a really quiet day at work for me today. Nothing much to do. Although my boss did ask me to help me scan something to the image library but it's just a few pages of images. Which i can finish up in half an hour. So i am doing it pretty slowly and have been surfing the internet for the whole day.

In the afternoon i manage to chat with dear for awhile on facebook. He manage to get online for awhile because he is having lunch at kenny rogers and they provide wireless internet connection. Although he have only been away for one day, i feels that i have started to miss him a lot. He is really important to me. Is this what people call love?

Sometimes i really don't understand what love is, sometimes it will hurt you badly and sometimes it will make you happy until you feels like you can touch the sky. Love is a very complicated emotion. You will never ever be able to understand what love is. There is a lot of definition on love. People always say that there is no right or wrong in love. It's just depends on how you see it and how you feel about it.

I really hope that i have finally found the one that i truly love and i hope that he is the person that will stay with me forever until death do us part. I want to grow old with him. I wan to walk through the hard and smooth path with him holding each other's hand and guiding each other through the life. I have once told him that he is really important to me and i really can't live without him. And i did told him that he will be my last. If this relationship does not work out. I will never ever going to find another ever again. He is the only that i wan to live my life with. That is what i am hoping for. There is no other that can replace him.

That is why it is really important to me to change myself so that i will not give him too much trouble. I hope that i can settle all my things and won't give him anymore trouble next year. That is my biggest resolution for next year. To change for the better so that both of us can be with each other happily.

The ending of my dear's birthday

My dear's birthday have finally come to end it's already 14th of December. And he is now on his way to Genting Highlands with his colleague. I have just spend a very pleasant night and dinner with him today. I brought him dinner at Ashton's which is consider not too bad because of my current financial situation. So it's already consider very nice, although it's not those super high class place. Ashton's western food can consider very nice and the price are reasonable.

I can see that my dear enjoy the dinner very much. I won't be meeting him for the past few days. I am fine with him spending some time with his colleagues and friends as long as he does not over do it. I am happy that i can spend a very nice dinner with him on his birthday. Hope that he will always remember this.

After the dinner we went back home and he went to prepare his stuff while i went home to rest because tomorrow still have a long day to go. Here i would like to wish my dear good luck since he is going to gamble. Hope that he does not loose much.

13th Of December

It's my dear's birthday today. Yesterday i have already accompany him the whole day and also have dinner with him and his family to celebrate his birthday. It is a very quiet day for us. We did not plan to go anywhere and just stay at home and play our games. I don't know whether he will find me boring or not but i hope that he does not mind being with such a bored girlfriend. After the dinner we went home and watch tv for awhile and after that i went back home to rest because still need to work. But before i went to sleep, i did call him and talk to him. I do think that he is really a simple kind of guy that will not expect too much. Maybe that is why he is always happy, but the other way round i am those kind of people that will think a lot even the most tiniest things will make me think of a lot of silly things. That is why he told me. Maybe i am too emotional, sensitive, and sentimental.

We talk on the phone for about 10-20mins. Then hang up because he need to do something. So i went to play my games and watch my movie on the laptop. Before i sleep i keep thinking to myself, why am i so sensitive, emotional and sentimental? Why do i have to be like that? Is it because of this my ex boyfriend left me because he can't stand it? Will my dear leave me too if i keep on being so emotional, sensitive and sentimental? I really don't know. The only solution to this is to change myself. But i know that it's not easy because we are talking about my own character, my personality. But i will try my very best to change myself. I will try not to think too much. No matter what the future holds for me. I will just accept it with open heart. I wan to be a happy and cheerful person to make people around me happy.

Today i went to work as usual. Thinking how to make my dear happy tonight since i promise him that i will treat him for dinner at Ashton to celebrate his birthday. Then suddenly around 11.30am i received call from my dear. I thought that he was at home, but he is not. So i ask him where he is, and he told me that he is here in chinatown because he needs to meet up with a client near his head office. So i meet him for lunch. It's been such a long time that i did not meet my dear for lunch and also breakfast. Last time we use to meet once awhile to have breakfast or lunch. I remember when i am still staying at chua chu kang he will once awhile send me to work and have breakfast with me and then he will went back home and sleep again or do his things. I am always happy whenever i get the chance to meet him to have dinner or lunch or just about anything. But just that sometimes the things that he do makes me feels that he does not care, or his love towards me are fading away.

Anyway i hope that we can have a very pleasant dinner tonight to celebrate his birthday. Wishing my dear a very happy birthday and may all his wishes comes true on this very special day. May he be healthy, happy and handsome always.. love him really much..

Dear's birthday

Tomorrow is my dear's birthday. I am thinking of what i wanted to do with him like where to go and where to eat. I wanted to give him something special, but i don't really have that much budget. I hope that he can understand. I don't wan to bored him on his birthday. I just wan to enjoy it with him and spend time with him. That is what i wanted to do. I hope that he will understand my current situation right now. I did promise him that i will give him a better birthday gift next year when things gets better.

I wonder what is his birthday wish for this year. I really wanted to go for a trip with him. Just the two of us. Enjoying as much as we can. I do think that he have been working really hard and wanted to treat him to something nice. I should work hard and earn as much as i can. So that i won't burden him and also can enjoy some time and memorable time with him. Although sometimes i don't know what is going on inside his head but i hope that he is happy..

What is love actually???

Sometimes i really don't know what love is. I thought that i have give?n him all that i have. I am trying my best to make him happy. But why am i not feeling happy? What have happen? Don't i love him anymore? Have our love change? I really don't know what love actually is anymore. Why didn't i feel his love for me anymore? What am i to him? I really don't know what am i to him.

Sometimes i think by myself what does the future holds for me. Is he really the one that i am going to spend my whole life with. I am starting to have that kind of fear again. The fear of loosing him, the anger that i have when he spend more time with his friends than me. the jealousy that he have more things to talk to other people than me. Does he really love me? I really wanted to ask him what does he plan for the future. But to me i think that he is not those kind of people that plan for his future.

Sian Sian Sian and Sian!!

Finally it's Friday again. A few more weeks from now and it will be Christmas. Have been a really busy day today. Have no choice but to work late today and end up did not meet Aileen, Joyce, Philip and Chris for dinner at Farrer Park. They are having curry fish head... Must be really nice. Long time never go there to have dinner. Only tried it once. I find it quite nice. But forgotten about the restaurant name.

It's a very tiring day and it's been raining for a few days now. Kind of bored with it. Sometimes it's cold and sometimes it's hot. I think i am going to fall sick again soon. Just hope that i will not fall sick because there is still a lot of things to be done.

Receive my niece and nephew's Christmas present today. Am totally happy with it. I think i am falling in love with gmarket.com.sg . I can almost get all my Christmas present there and it's so convenient. And the products are all in good condition and i received the good pretty fast. I did recommend it to my mother. But maybe she did not found what she wanted. So she only bought a Thomas & Train t-shirt for my nephew.

Really can't wait for Christmas to come because will be going back with dear this time. I am so happy with it when i ask him whether he wanted to follow me back hometown or not, and his answer was yes...

It December already

Time pass really fast and it's already December. And it's time to make new year resolution again. Lets start with my career first. Might be changing job next year, still not confirm yet because all depends on the situation. Since i have already work in this company for 3 years now. And the salary that i get will be higher, i am afraid that if i jump to another company then my pay will be very low. That is what i am afraid of because there is too many things that i need to consider before i jump to a new company. But all i hope now is the the increment is good as what i see the business of our company is doing really good and a lot of new projects are coming in.

Second things will be about my family. Hope that i can provide them a better place to stay. I am really trying my best to provide what they need. But i also need to think about my own future as well. That is why i have to start planning now. First thing is to clear up all my debts and also to get a PR as soon as possible because after i got my PR then i can look for part-time job at night so that i can support them even more and have a more comfortable life.

The third thing is about my relationship. I hope that my relationship with him will be better and better each passing day. Although sometimes i will feels that he totally forgotten about me but sometimes he do care a lot about me. Like how he take time to accompany me and my family which makes me feels that i am important to him. But at time he can actually forget about me and like does not care about me at all. Is this some kind of tactic to keep the relationship goes on??Maybe meeting each other too much is really not a good thing. But anyway i will not put in too much expectation on this relationship and also i will not hope for too much as well because i don't want to get hurt again if this does not work just like the previous relationship. So i want to keep this relationship simple and free.

I called my cousin from New York just now and chat with her for about an hour. It's been really long time i never call her. Hope that my phone bill is not super expensive this time. If not i will be really dead. Human can really change a lot. I never thought that she can be so mature and can take good care of herself and also plan for her own future. I am really proud of her. But i feels that i am more useless than her because i don't even earn as much as she does. I really feels ashame of myself. Anyway i hope that everything will be fine for her over there and hope that i can meet her soon because i have not meet her for years. Life is really an amazing thing and there is really a lot of things that you can discover in your life, like friends, family, colleague and also people around you.