I haven't been blogging for quiet sometime. There is a lot of things happen to me lately. Some unhappy things have been happen to me. I know that i have done a lot of mistakes that make him very very disappointed of me and i know that i have done a lot of things that have hurt him so much. When he ask me how much i love him, i can only answer that i love him very much that i wanted to spend my life with him and be with him forever. But when he ask me since i love him so much why do i still do all this kind of things to hurt him... then i don't know how to answer. I really think that i am not mature enough. I do think that i am a very bad person. I wanted to change for him. I am trying very hard to change so that he feel secure with me. I really love him very much and i am affraid to loose him. My friends told me that i deserved someone better but all i want is just him. And he will be my future husband. I am stupid right?
Sometimes i really feel that i am so stupid that i really can't let go of him. I know that he have given me a lot of chances to change myself and he is always there to teach me the correct things to do, advise me and also motivate me to improve myself. I am trying to improve myself and trying to learn as much things as i can. I know why he feels insecure about this relationship as he is in ipoh and i am here in singapore. I wanted to resign and go back to him so that he feels that i really treasure this relationship. I have told him that i will go back to ipoh and have already plan to tender my resignation letter on september. I hope that he knows that i really do treasure this relationship.
Why is it so hard to love someone. I really hope that he will give me another chance to change for the better. I have learn my lesson and only one last chance that is what i need.
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